A Very Happy New Years!
A song on the TV plays, “Happy, Happy, Happy Loves you! Happy, Happy, Happy Needs you!
“Don’t forget to start this new year. Happy!
What a stupid commercial, says a woman as she changes the channel.
“Mom, no, put it back.”
“Honey, I don’t get why you like that stupid dinosaur animal thing.”
“He makes me Happy, like his name.” The boy responded.
“Well, he makes me unhappy. With those stupid tunes on TV. So annoying.” The theme was, in fact, annoying.
The next day, the woman was walking down 5th Avenue, New York, when she saw the same ad playing on one of the storefront TVs. This time, she decides to finish it.
The ad reveals that Happy has a new toy. And if you feed him water, he’ll grow ten sizes happier.
Instantly, she thought, “Mikey will love this.” Referring to her son.
With a few extra minutes available, she entered the store, headed straight to the toy section, and pointed at the Happy doll. She grabs it in her hand and contemplates it. “You are one ugly-looking little fucker. But my kid loves you.” She says as she looks at the toy. Happy carries a blank stare amongst its crooked teeth.
A man approaches her, a store clerk.
“I see your interest in Thirsty Happy.” He said as he called the toy by its name.
“To be honest, I could care less about this thing. But my son loves it.”
“It’s a great toy, but how old is your son, may I ask?”
“He’s six.”
“Great age.”
“Why does it matter? It says 3+ here in the box.”
“Well, Happy is for kids; I wanted to make sure you were buying it for a kid. Happy isn’t very fond of adults.”
“I see; well, I’m not fond of him either. How much?”
“Twenty-one, ninety-nine.”
“Take cash?”
“Of course.”
She hands him 25 dollars, “Keep the change.”
“Hey, miss.”
“Yes?”
“Very important you know this. Happy must always be happy. I promise you that He’ll always do everything he can to keep his kid happy. But the parents gotta watch out. Happy takes notice of naughty parents. Kind of like an elf on the shelf, but for adults.”
“Your point?”
“Don’t be naughty.”
“Wacko, she whispers as she walks away with the toy.”
Little did she know that the man spoke the truth, for the woman would soon learn to importance of being Happy.
Written by Anthony Soto
A Very Happy New Year! (2024)
Copyright © 2024 Anthony Soto.
For more shorts by A.L. Soto, click here.
